People: Elinor, Lady Middleton, Sir John Middleton, Mrs. Jennings
Text: Mrs. Dashwood had a secondary motive for encouraging the girls to stay in London. The sisters’ half-brother John and his wife Fanny were to come to town for a visit in February. Mrs. Dashwood hoped, as did Marianne, that with Fanny being in town, an occasion would arise of Elinor meeting up with Edward. Only Elinor knew the truth of Edward’s secret engagement to Lucy Steele. Neither mother nor sister could know the depth of pain that Elinor bore alone.
As for the family of Mrs. Jennings bringing up Willoughby to Marianne, none of them had the inclination to do so. But when Marianne was out of the room, the variety of humans would speak to Elinor about Marianne’s plight. Mrs. Jennings, Sir John Middleton, and Mrs. Palmer all took regular turns despising Mr. Willoughby. Only Lady Middleton practiced restraint. The empathy matched the personality.
Elinor wished the same forbearance could have extended towards herself, but that was impossible, and she was obliged to listen day after day to the indignation of them all.
Sir John could not have thought it possible. “Such a good-natured fellow! He did not believe there was a bolder rider in England! It was an unaccountable business. He wished him at the devil with all his heart. He would not speak another word to him, meet him where he might, for all the world! Such a scoundrel of a fellow! Such a deceitful dog!”
Mrs. Palmer, in her way, was equally angry, “She was very determined to drop his acquaintance immediately, and she was very thankful that she had never been acquainted with him at all. She wished with all her heart that his home, Combe Magna, was not so near Cleveland. She hated him so much that she was resolved never to mention his name again.” The rest of Mrs. Palmer’s sympathy was shown in procuring all the particulars in her power of the approaching marriage and communicating them to Elinor.
The calm and polite unconcern of Lady Middleton on the occasion was a happy relief to Elinor’s spirits, oppressed as they often were by the clamorous kindness of the others. It was a great comfort to Elinor, to be sure of exciting no interest in one person at least among their circle of friends.
Emotion: self-control
Insight: Romans 12:15 knows Marianne’s supporters well, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”
Although Marianne was spared the overt empathy of their hosts, Elinor was tasked with being the one with which all their outrage was shared. Sir John was shocked that someone who could ride a horse as well as John Willoughby could be guilty of so great a deception. He hoped to see him punished by the devil for his crimes against Marianne. Mrs. Palmer hoped never to see him again and was glad his estate was not too close to her own. She also played the vital role of securing the latest gossip of Willoughby and Miss Grey. Only Lady Middleton was wise enough to refrain from the excessive words of her well-meaning family. Lady Middleton’s polite silence was a comfort to Elinor.
Empathy certainly has the distinction of taking on the personalities of the empathetic. This was the case with the way Marianne’s hosts displayed it. Sir John raged, though incredulous. Mrs. Palmer secured the gossip. In their way, they were weeping with Marianne’s sorrow, just not to her face. May we appreciate the kindness of those who care for us in our seasons of woundedness and hope for a circle of understanding friends to come along side us. Let us be wisely silent when the occasion calls for it. Sometimes, sitting in silence and saying nothing can be the greatest expression of empathy and courage.
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